Yeh Kaisa Hai Cinema! (Вот так сняли! Провал фильма)

[Intro Instrumental: a gentle, slightly sad melody of sitar and flute.] [Verse 1] Aankhon mein sapne, dil mein umeed thi, Pehli baar set pe, dharti naseeb thi. Socha tha chamkega, rang mera naya, Lekin yahan har pal, ek shor mach gaya. Pardaa gire toh khwaab sab toot jaa’ein, Jeevan ke rang bhi, fike pad jaa’ein. Kehte hain yeh Bollywood, chamak dilon ki, Yahan toh bas dekhta hoon, bahaar bahaar hi. [Pre-Chorus] Na koi script mein baat hai, Na khush yahan koi saath hai. Har chehra hai ek jhol hai, Bas naam ka ye roll hai! [Chorus] Yeh kaisa hai cinema! (Haan!) Yeh kaisa hai taraana! Mehnat meri hawa mein, dhundoon koi bahana! Actor hain bade, par acting hain bilkul kamzor, Aur director ka gussa, har waqt kare shor! Kahani meri hai, lekin bhule hue sab mod, Yeh kaisa hai rangamanch, yeh kaisa hai zor! Bollywood ki duniya, dikhti hai door se shaandaar, Yahan toh bas hota hai, roz nayaa hi haar! [Verse 2] Ye pehla shot hai, keh ke bas chillaaye, Har dialogue alag hai, koi nahi samajh paaye. Woh heroine ka chehra, bhool gayee naam apna, Aur woh uncle ka dialogue, lage adhurha sapna. Har koi apni dhun mein, gaata hai gaana, Na taal hai koi, na koi thikaana. Main ek taraf khada hoon, sar mera jhukta hai, Ye khel yeh sab dekhoon, toh jee ghabrakta hai. [Pre-Chorus] Na koi scene mein jazbaat hai, Na khush yahan koi baat hai. Har koi hai bas dhol hai, Bas naam ka ye role hai! [Chorus] Yeh kaisa hai cinema! (Haan!) Yeh kaisa hai taraana! Mehnat meri hawa mein, dhundoon koi bahana! Actor hain bade, par acting hain bilkul kamzor, Aur director ka gussa, har waqt kare shor! Kahani meri hai, lekin bhule hue sab mod, Yeh kaisa hai rangamanch, yeh kaisa hai zor! Bollywood ki duniya, dikhti hai door se shaandaar, Yahan toh bas hota hai, roz nayaa hi haar! [Verse 3] Woh director ka chehra, laal jaata hai jab, Lagta hai yeh set hai, nahi koi apna ghar. Har choti baat pe woh, gusse se jalta hai, Hum artistes ke dil ko, aise hi kuchalta hai. Ek filmaan banaani thi, kahani bemisaal, Yahan toh har moment, lagta hai ek jhol, bawaal! Jaan laga di thi maine, har khwaab apna dekar, Magar yahan toh milta hai, bas ek dard ka zehar. [Pre-Chorus] Na koi passion ki baat hai, Na koi sachchi saugaat hai. Har set pe hai bas fraud hai, Bas naam ka ye lord hai! [Chorus] Yeh kaisa hai cinema! (Haan!) Yeh kaisa hai taraana! Mehnat meri hawa mein, dhundoon koi bahana! Actor hain bade, par acting hain bilkul kamzor, Aur director ka gussa, har waqt kare shor! Kahani meri hai, lekin bhule hue sab mod, Yeh kaisa hai rangamanch, yeh kaisa hai zor! Bollywood ki duniya, dikhti hai door se shaandaar, Yahan toh bas hota hai, roz nayaa hi haar! [Bridge: the music abruptly changes to a more bluesy, melancholic guitar riff with light tablas, then escalates back to an epic sound.] Socha tha chamkenge taare ban ke hum yahaan, Andar ki duniya, kaisi ajeeb si hai ab! Paison ki daud mein, kho gaya har hunar, Chandi ki chamak mein, chup gaya asli jigar! Par main nahi haarunga, ab yeh mera waada hai, Nikal ke is sab se, banaaunga main naya iraada hai! Agar aise hi banta hai cinema har din, Toh aane waale kal mein, badalunga main ye dhin! Apni pehchaan banaaunga, naam apna dikhaunga, Is bheed mein, khud ka raasta main banaunga! [Final Chorus: powerful finale, chorus, orchestra, energetic percussion.] Yeh kaisa hai cinema! (Nahin!) Yeh aisa na rahega! Meri mehnat dikhegi, ab zamaana dekhega! Actor ki taaqat, ab koi na samjhe kamzor, Director ke gusse ka, hoga ab toofan kam! Meri kahani hai yeh, badal dunga main sab mod, Naya hai rangamanch, naya hai mera zor! Bollywood ki duniya, dikhegi mujhse shaandaar, Kyunki ab nahi hoga, yahaan roz nayaa hi haar! Yeh kaisa hai cinema! Yeh aisa nahi hoga! Haan! Yeh hoga! Meri jeet ka tarana! Yeh kaisa hai cinema! (Nahin!) Yeh aisa na rahega! Meri mehnat dikhegi, ab zamaana dekhega! Actor ki taaqat, ab koi na samjhe kamzor, Director ke gusse ka, hoga ab toofan kam! Meri kahani hai yeh, badal dunga main sab mod, Naya hai rangamanch, naya hai mera zor! Bollywood ki duniya, dikhegi mujhse shaandaar, Kyunki ab nahi hoga, yahaan roz nayaa hi haar! Yeh kaisa hai cinema! Yeh aisa nahi hoga! Haan! Yeh hoga! Meri jeet ka tarana! [The music ends with a powerful chord, then fades with echoes of sitar and tabla.]